Friday, May 3, 2013

Why do I hate the Canucks so?

Clever, right?

I'm not really sure what it is. If I knew, I would share. Perhaps it's just a collection of feelings and beliefs I have. But the fact remains, almost as much as I love the Toronto Maple Leafs...I really do enjoy seeing the Vancouver Canucks lose.

I know, that sounds juvenile, even callous but it's the truth.

This week was the first playoff game for the Leafs in nine (9) years and they lost, handily. I quickly remembered what it's like to have your team in the playoffs, the fact that despite all the hope and promise it rarely turns out well. I was slightly depressed after the loss but honestly I cannot expect a Cup win this year. It's a process and this is one step of it. On my way to my spring beer league hockey game an hour later, listening to the Canuck's first game on the radio I found myself giving a fist-pump to San Jose's tying goal. Later during a stoppage in play in my own game, our ref shared the fact that the Canucks had lost 3-1. I merely replied, "Good." Why? Do I dislike the Canucks that much?

I think it may come down to the overall unfounded sense of superiority and entitlement by the organization, media and fan base. It's the ridiculous and repetitive comments. Over the last week I have received countless "jabs" either verbally or digitally welcoming my team back to the post-season. That, or they remind me of the fact Toronto hasn't won a Cup since 1967. In most cases, this is the one and only piece of historical knowledge they have about hockey. In reality, both Vancouver and Toronto have missed the playoffs equally on sixteen occasions since 1970. Sure, Vancouver has been to and lost three finals over the years but honestly, I'd rather not make it there at all than be heartbroken as Vancouver has been the last two times.

Maybe it's that heartbreak and disappointment that make Canuck fans bitter, but why so vehemently toward the Leafs and their fans? Perhaps it's the very plain fact that they haven't won at least one Cup in those three attempts. I personally have multiple friends who are diehard fans of  either Montreal, Edmonton and Calgary. Although it may be a small sample, not ONE of these fans shares the outward hatred toward other teams or the superiority complex of a Canuck fan. All of these teams have indeed won a Cup in my lifetime, and it would probably be well within their "fandom rights" to display these qualities, yet they do not.

The Canuck fan is strange sort indeed. To say they are band-wagon jumpers is an understatement of gross proportions. The mere fact that playoff tickets had to be offered at half-price by the team says it all. The rebuttal that fans are complacent about making the playoffs is utter bullshit. This would not happen in any other Canadian city and a lot of American ones too. I feel the Canuck fan is summed up nicely by the most famous pair of them, The Green Guys. These morons are there for one purpose only, to get on TV and "entertain" the crowd. Ask them the score of the game at any point they'd be clueless.

And then there is the radio call-in fan. Yikes. Just this morning a caller to Vancouver sports radio suggested the reason for the Sedin brothers lack of production in the playoffs is because they just don't care. Where does a radio host go with a thought that ridiculous, other than the hang-up button. I'm surprised the caller didn't also suggest the Canucks trade Zack Kassian for Jonathan Toews.  I've kind of chalked up the average Vancouver fan's general lack of knowledge is the simple fact that there is no winter here in Vancouver. In their formative years when guys my age were building backyard rinks and skating on rivers, the typical West Coaster was playing soccer on a rainy gravel field or dragon boat racing. I've played rec-hockey in Vancouver for almost twenty years now, with well over 100 different guys. I'd say easily two-thirds of them were born East of the Rockies. Now, being a good hockey fan doesn't necessarily mean you should have actually played the game...but it sure helps.

Anyway, I think I'm ranting now. I'd love to hear feedback form the Canuck side on this, and I'm sure I will. And yes, I've seen the Leaf Blower.


Anonymous said...

I moved from Toronto to Vancouver 9 years ago for work out West. I have suffered quietly, with humble dignity year after year watching this new breed of self righteous canuck fan metastisize like some warty cancer on an otherwise beautiful city.

I will go down to my local tomorrow at the bottom of Lonsdale, and get stinking drunk watching real EastCoast hockey with people who know the game and give a shit. The best thing that ever happened to this town was when the Aquarium's killer whale died. If I could have, I would have taken it home, chopped it up and served it as the vegan Burger option to all my wife's smug asshole clueless friends that drift into our house, touch all my hockey stuff, ask to turn on the Canucks game, and then ask questions like, what's the coaches name again?

And stop being nice to these people. I'm not a true soccer fan. I'm the first to admit it. But i never played. Unless you've flooded your own ice, or shot pucks against a board by yourself in minus 30 weather for an hour - just for fun (and by fun I mean because you knew that's what it was going to take to be better than the other guy) you don't get the game - and you're not a fan - you're a spectator. This city is full of pompous little spectators that go to games so they can tell their friends they sat in coach seats. I feel sorry for the team. They hate you canuckers most of all. Especially your olympic gold medal winning goaly you threw under the bus. He can't wait to get out of here and play for a city with grit and heart.

God why do I live here??!! I can't even look at the ocean and sky on a sunny day when the greens and blues are just so without feeling hatred in my soul for every Jersey wearing barely roller blading , wrist guard wearing schmuck that almost skates into my daughter when we're on the seawall.

I agree with you the leafs won't go deep this year and it's a process. But I disagree in that I hope the canucks get to game seven of the finals again, and win. And then I hope 99% of the fans burn themselves to the ground in a riot to end all riots. And then this bullshit we have endured for almost a decade will have resolved itself, and they will all move on to soccer, and we real hockey fans can flip on a leafs game at a bar with our wifes without having to fight against their honour and our family's name just for wanting to watch real hockey for God's sake.


Anonymous said...

It's actually called foot ball. And don't knock it till you've tried it. You won't see people acting like brutes punching each other in the face for no reason. I don't want my child risking concusions to play a sport when he can learn about comradery, sportsmanship, coordination and leadership without having to have his most important organ put at risk. And I do like those green men. That's probably the best part of the game. Reminds me of the blue man show I saw in Vegas. Worth seeing for sure

Nitzy said...

Re: comment#1 Where in lower Lonsdale are you heading, that's my hood too. Maybe I'll meet ya for a pint!

Anonymous said...

Would have loved to - Cheers! what a Saturday! I was just checking to see the fallout. "Important organ at Risk!" Hahahah what a woman!. And what a Sunday - hahaha. I'm off today with a serious tooth ache nobody at work believes I have at a bar in Burnaby with some buds getting hammered. Unfortunately for Wed I'm not going to be able to miss another day of work. I'm going to try and quit before 4. maybe have to watch it downtown. Might try and get back to the shore if after the first. What's your plan? I'd post my email address here but if coworkers or wife's friends somehow found out how much I actually hate them I might actually have to move back home. HAHAHA GO LEAFS GO!!!!

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