Thursday, December 9, 2010

NitzyLeaks

As the WikiLeaks scandal unfolds, Nitzy's Hockey Den has just as damaging revelations that the hockey world would rather keep secret. Through a network of spies, moles and informants I present...NitzyLeaks.

1. Brian Burke has a secret 40% ownership stake in the Boston Bruins.

2. Henrik Sedin and Tanner Glass have a personal bet on who scores more goals this season, loser has to wash Luongo's Trans-Am

3. Marc Savard has removed Colin Campbell from his Christmas card list.

4. Ilya Kovalchuk is being paid 6.6 million a year to acurately impersonate the scoring talents of long gone Lou Lamoriello favourite, Hector Marini.

5. The entire Maple Leafs roster has vowed to not score goals while Jonas Gustavsson is in net, all goals are purely accidental. They apparently don't think too much of Giggy either.

6. Mike Green is so intent on winning a Norris Trophy he has decided to score just like Rod Langway.

7. This past summer, Tim Thomas broke into the Hockey Hall of Fame and stole the goalie pads of George Hainsworth.

8. Dustin Byfuglien doesn't need to be in an opponent's crease to score goals.

9. Gary Bettman plans on moving the Coyotes to Brantford, Ont. where they will be coached by Keith Gretzky.

10. In true HBO fashion, the Pens and Caps will engage in an expletive laden, yet darkly comedic gunfight during the first intermission of the Winter Classic.



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